


The Family Dinner™

by Moonscar



Series: The Forbidden Avenger Chatroom [7]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Baking, Betrayal, Chatting & Messaging, Cookies, Cooking, Domestic Avengers, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Angst, Mostly Fluff, Secret Identity, Social Media, Swearing, Texting, chat fic, chatroom, clint breaks allot of stuff, hidden identity, text fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-08-09 19:27:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16455899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonscar/pseuds/Moonscar
Summary: CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: THERE AREN'T ANYMORE EGGSCaptainRighteous: AND YOU DROPPED THE LAST ONE?!CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: SHSHSHSH IT'S OKAY





	The Family Dinner™

**CaptainRighteous** : NATASHA GET BACK HERE!

**ScarySpiderWoman** : not a chance Cap

**IronPopTartMan** : what did she do?

**CaptainRighteous** : She just SNUCK UP on me, grabbed the toast that i had just made FOR MYSELF. Then she just LEAVES

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : so she basically just scared the living shit out of you by sneaking up on you

**CaptainRighteous** : Y E S

**ScarySpiderWoman** : i'm not a spy and assassin for nothing you know

**CaptainRighteous** : Ugh, just, someone get Tony to wake up Spider-Man so that he can have some break-fast before he rushes off like he usually does

**IronPopTartMan** : already on it, brb

**_Spider-Man has changed ScarySpiderWoman's name to SheBeSneaky_ **

**SheBeSneaky** : what's with the change in username?

**Spider-Man** : you be sneaky

**SheBeSneaky** : ...okay

**Spider-Man** : no but seriously, the other name kept feeling off and you weren't giving me anything to work with to change with until now- i could always call you ''ToastThief" if you want

**SheBeSneaky** : no thanks, i'll pass on that

**CaptainRighteous** : I think ToastThief matches very well, i needed to make MORE toast for myself!

**SheBeSneaky** : to bad, not my fault you make the best food.

**Mr.Jesus** : i thought i made the best food?

**SheBeSneaky** : you make the best baked goods, like cookies and cupcakes

**Mr.Jesus:** ah

**Spider-Man** : Mr.Jesus can bake?! can i try some next time you bake Mr.Jesus?!

**Mr.Jesus:** sure kid, what do you want?

**Spider-Man** : anything is fine! 

**Mr.Jesus** : ok

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : what the hell?! whenever i ask for him to make something he refuses before i can even get a word out-

**Mr.Jesus:** only the chosen ones can ask for baked goods

**PopTartLover** : and who are the chosen ones?

**Mr.Jesus** : Steve, Spider-Man and Natasha

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : COME ON, that's a pretty short list

**Mr.Jesus** : deal with it, because it's not changing anytime soon

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : NAAAATTT, if i bribed you with money or something else, would you ask bucky to make me some baked goods?

**SheBeSneaky** : not a chance

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : wwhhhyyyy

**SheBeSneaky** : because anything you can do i can do better

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : no you can't

**SheBeSneaky** : yes i can

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : no you can't

**SheBeSneaky** : yes i can

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : prove it

**SheBeSneaky** : the camping trip

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : THAT WAS ONE TIME

**SheBeSneaky** : one time is enough

**CaptainRighteous** : what are you guys talking about?

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : NOTHING

**SheBeSneaky** : we we're testing out who had better survival skills out in the wild so we went on a camping trip and i won every single test

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : YOU PROMISED NOT TO TELL ANYONE

**SheBeSneaky** : then don't threaten to get baked goods out of bucky because of me

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : UGH, FIIINNEE

**Spider-Man** : i'm sorry i'm late but i HAD to share this [anything you can do i can do better](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yarVUPO8hSA) 

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : Tony Stark @ Everyone

**IronPopTartMan** : you fucking bet, because it's true

**Spider-Man** : what would happen if i said that to pepper?

**IronPopTartMan** : everyone except pepper

**IronPopTartMan** : but don't tell anyone i said that-

**Spider-Man** : of course Mr.Stark!

**CaptainRighteous** : Anyways, Spider-Man, aren't you usually gone by this time? You usually leave around 7:15, except on weekends-

**Spider-Man:** yeah, well me and Mr.Stark have plans for the day, we'll be leaving around 2:30 and will probably return early enough for dinner

**Mr.Jesus:** that's fine, what are you guys doing?

**IronPopTartMan** : classified information

**CoolScienceBro** : Since when to you care about the fact that something is Classified or not?

**IronPopTartMan** : i don't

**CoolScienceBro** : i assume what's stopping you is the kid?

**IronPopTartMan** : yep, am i that predictable?

**CoolScienceBro** : sort of, yeah

**IronPopTartMan** : god dammit

**IronPopTartMan** : KID COME HERE RIGHT NOW OR ELSE WE ARE GONNA BE LATE

**Spider-Man** : RIGHT AWAY MR.STARK

**IronPopTartMan:** KID YOUR PANTS ARE ON BACKWARDS

**Spider-Man:** SORRY SORRY, BRB

**IronPopTartMan** : your gonna be the death of me ugh-

**CoolScienceBro** : Best way to die

**IronPopTartMan** : i wish i could say it wasn't but honestly, yeah

~~~~**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : okay so now that their gone, what do we do?

**FalconsAreCool** : do what we usually do?

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : how about we cook a huge dinner? so that we can all eat together and have a large family dinner? instead of all of us eating at different intervals in different places?

**FalconsAreCool** : that... actually isn't a bad idea

**CaptainRighteous** : Yeah! We should do that, should make the kid feel better, he still seemed a bit bummed out this morning.

**CaptainRighteous** : Also, Nat, can you tell Wanda to keep Vision far, far away from the kitchen?

**SheBeSneaky** : on it

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : and please make sure it stays that way, we don't need another kitchen being completely ruined because he decided that setting soup on fire was a fun activity

**Mr.Jesus:** how the fuck does someone set SOUP on fire?

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : none of us know, and we never will- 

**CaptainRighteous** : BUCK WHERE IS THE FLOUR?!

**Mr.Jesus** : IN THE CUPBOARD ON THE FAR LEFT

**CaptainRighteous** : THANKS LOVE

**Mr.Jesus** : Clint... did you just drop the last egg 

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : ... would you believe me if i said no?

**Mr.Jesus:** Get another carton from the floor below

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : yes mother

**Mr.Jesus** : And clean up the egg remnants!

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : YES MOTHER

**Mr.Jesus** : teenagers

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : UGH

**Mr.Jesus** : My point exactly-

~~~~**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : THERE AREN'T ANYMORE EGGS

**CaptainRighteous** : AND YOU DROPPED THE LAST ONE?!

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : SHSHSHSH IT'S OKAY

**Mr.Jesus:** WE LIVE IN A FUCKING TOWER JUST LOOK ON ALL THE OTHER FLOORS-

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : NAT COME HELP ME

**SheBeSneaky** : eh, what do i get out of it?

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : ... my undying love?

**SheBeSneaky** : not enough

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : WHAT DO YOU MEAN!?! IT'S MY LOVE-

**SheBeSneaky** : i know what i said

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : *GASP*

**SheBeSneaky** : fine, i'll help, but only because i want some of bucky's cookies

**Mr.Jesus** : ha-

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : wow, betrayal at it's best

**Mr.Jesus** : I NEED EGGS

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : WE HAVEN'T FOUND ANY

**CaptainRighteous** : WELL FIND SOME

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : FOUND SOME

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : WAIT NO THOSE ARE AVOCADOS

**FalconsAreCool** : what? the fuck?

**SheBeSneaky** : found them

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : FUCK

**SheBeSneaky** : suffer

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : W O W

**Mr.Jesus** : Just get the eggs over here! 

**SheBeSneaky** : coming

**FalconsAreCool** : jesus fucking christ how many cookies are you making?

**Mr.Jesus** : enough to feed this whole country

**CoolScienceBro** : So, enough to feed Captain?

**Mr.Jesus:** yep

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : wow, mood-

~~~~**Mr.Jesus:** BRING ME BACK MY COOKIE DOUGH

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : OVER MY DEAD BODY

**MischievousSnek** : i got the cookie dough

**Mr.Jesus** : how did you get it from him...?

**MischievousSnek** : magic

**Mr.Jesus** : of course

~~~~**CaptainRighteous** : OKAY SO ALL THE FOOD IS DONE COME HELP US SET THE TABLE

**Mr.Jesus** : COMING

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : that's what you scream at night

**SheBeSneaky** : we don't need your dirty mind around us and our food

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I HELPED TRYING TO FIND SOME EGGS

**SheBeSneaky** : and yet in the end, i found them

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : MINOR DETAIL

**Mr.Jesus:** these cookies say other wise

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : BISIUHOBUSXUODGIVPOSQ

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : okay so i just counted and bucky made 645 cookies wtf

**CaptainRighteous** : That's barely scratching the surface, we were on a time limit, the most he has done is over 3,000

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : W H A T ?!!?!

**Mr.Jesus** : it's called stress baking, be thankful

**MischievousSnek** : unbelievable-

~~~~**CaptainRighteous** : I JUST HEARD A PLATE BREAK IN THE KITCHEN CLINT IS THAT YOU

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : WHY DO YOU GUYS ALWAYS THINK IT'S ME?!

**CaptainRighteous** : IT WAS YOU I KNEW IT

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : god dammit

**CaptainRighteous** :  Your unbelievable, come on and set the table I'll clean it up-

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : yes father

**CaptainRighteous** : I'm giving you the 'easy' job so yes, be thankful your not bleeding all over our floor because you pricked your finger with a broken piece of this plate

**Mr.Jesus:** ... you just accidentally cut yourself, didn't you?

**CaptainRighteous** : ... Maybe

**Mr.Jesus** : omg babe come on i'm gonna put a bandage over it

**CaptainRighteous** : Okay

~~~~**CoolScienceBro** : The table is finally set up! 

**PopTartMan** : So now we wait?

**MischievousSnek** : yes brother, we wait for them to arrive before eating

**PopTartLover** : Okay! The Man of Spiders must arrive soon then!

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : especially if they don't want me eating all this food-

**Mr.Jesus** : if you dare touch my cookies or caps MULTIPLE dishes i will cut off your hand

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : o k a y,  s o r r y   m o t h e r

~~~~**MischievousSnek** : they have arrived, their gonna come in the dining room in 3

**MischievousSnek** : 2

**Mischievous** : 1

**FalconsAreCool** : omg i think spider-man is crying under his mask i see TEAR STAINS IN THE CLOTH

**MischievousSnek** : leave him be, he is very emotional after yesterday

**FalconsAreCool** : okay-

****

**Spider-Man** : omgomg i know iv'e said this so much in the past 2 hours but thank you guys soooooo much! thank you as well Mr.Stark! what you guys did for me today meant allot to me! 

**CaptainRighteous** : Don't mention it kid! All we did was cook a bunch of food for you and have a family dinner, we all had fun! 

**Spider-Man:** still! it must've been so much work making all that food! thank you all for the nice meal! it was allot of fun talking with you guys! it really cheered me up! 

**Mr.Jesus** : glad you liked it kid, here, bring some cookies to your room

**IronPopTartMan** : yeah, and go to bed, you can't not be tired after eating enough for a small army, and the eventful day we had-

**Spider-Man** : but Mr.Staaarrrkkkk

**IronPopTartMan** : no but's, i don't care about your age, everyone needs a bed-time

**CaptainRighteous** : your one to talk?

**IronPopTartMan** : i specifically stated to him to never do anything i would do

**Spider-Man** : fine, fine, i'll talk to you guys tomorrow! bye! thank you so much once again!

**SheBeSneaky** : of course, now go to sleep, the less sleep you get the more likely you'll get injured on patrol

**Spider-Man** : right! good night everyone! =D

**MischievousSnek** : good night child

**Mr.Jesus:** g'night kid

**IronPopTartMan** : yeah, good night kid

**CoolScienceBro** : get a good night's rest

_**IronPopTartMan >>> CaptainRighteous** _

**IronPopTartMan** : thanks cap, and say thanks to bucky for me

**CaptainRighteous** : anytime tony, if you ever need help with the kid we're here

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it! I worked pretty hard to get this one out today, especially consider i wasn't in a big mood to write, but i still want to get a Halloween special out for Halloween! =D 
> 
> Tell me what you think and leave a comment! I love reading them and replying to them! =3 
> 
> Good Day/Night!


End file.
